January 1


How the Energy Shift May Be Affecting You in 2020

What's happening to the world!?

You may be wondering...

First and foremost, I want to start with the fact that we are in the “Great Transformational Era". 

It means we are currently going through a planetary scale energy shift where the vibration of this planet is shifting to a 4th dimension from the current 3.5th dimension.

Which also suggests that Earth is actually becoming more and more positive each day.


I know it may not look that way considering what's happening in the world right now, but trust me and the universe, our planet is getting slightly better each day in terms of energy.

The question is...

What does this energy shift have to do with you or us?

I will explain about this shortly.

So keep on reading to find out...

planetary consciousness

In 2012, for the first time in the long history of Earth, the planet's positive energy has slightly surpassed its negative energy.

In the Mayan Calendar, the year 2012 was the “beginning of the new age”, which was a huge critical mass for our planet in terms of energy.

And just like all the living things have its consciousness, Earth has its own, too.

In this article, you will get yourself familiar with the planetary consciousness shift, how this energy shift and collective consciousness are affecting you, and what are the ways you can make use of such as ascension to manifest the life you desire and become who you want to be.

What You'll Learn in This Article

  • What is Earth's consciousness shift 
  • How the consciousness shift is affecting us & our reality 
  • What will be happening in 2020 & the next few years
  • The system of parallel realities & how it may be affecting you
  • Being in the flow with the universe


1. What is This Planetary Consciousness Shift All About?

Individually, this shift has been already (and slowly) taking place since 1960.

However, the speed of this energy shift has become much faster, especially since the critical mass in 2012. This energy shift is massively influenced by the planetary consciousness and our collective consciousness. 

So, what is going on with this shift in energy?

Great question! 

Basically, Earth is trying to push out its accumulated negativity to elevate to a higher dimension, shifting from the current 3.5th dimension to 4th dimension through vibrational level. To go a higher vibrational dimension, we first need to clear out our negative energies that keep our vibration low. 

It's exactly the same for the planets as well.

Those negative energies that the Earth accumulated (mostly from us) have to be expressed first in order for it to be cleared and healed.

Many of planet scale distressing or disastrous events that we see in the news are manifestations, resulted from Earth trying to clear its negative energies. 

📝 Note:

It’s scientifically proven that everything is vibrational and it becomes a reality when it’s crystalized. I’m not going to discuss further on this subject matter since I have tackled this in my previous blogs.

This is the reason why humanity is facing a lot of negativity, inhumanity, and conflicts on this planet in the past few years.

Especially, 2017 was the year that exactly represented what I have just said, as we faced so much difficulties with human rights, refugees, and terrorism.

Here's the Google’s review on the year 2017:

And this video from Box, which explains that 2018 was considered as the “transformational year” in many ways:

2. What Will Be Happening in the Coming Years?

The year 2019 was also considered as a transformational year due to the both good and bad events that happened and greatly influenced humanity. Nonetheless, this year is nothing like the previous one as it is the phase that transcends our society to a positive note. 

As you could observe, 2019 was the year when more people started to choose a wiser conscious decision, stand up for human rights, spread awareness towards protecting our environment, and value their freedom to speak up against the controlling rulers who turn a blind eye as their country grows in chaos.

Yes, majority of the events were bleak and wild, but it paved a way for us to build a better society.

Therefore, the things and events that used to be invisible in the previous years will likely get noticed in a way of leaking and exposing. In a way, such chaotic events will happen more often in the coming years, considering we’re in the transformational era where Earth is trying to heal itself by pushing out the negativity to raise its vibration.

Every one of us needs to go through healing process at some point of our lives, not only to keep the stress and negative energy at bay, but to sustain our spiritual energy body and our physical body – and that kind of detoxification is what the Earth needs and does, as well.

collective consciousness

This healing process is a very natural process of every consciousness and soul.

Healing is the process that every soul (consciousness) goes through at some point. It's every soul's desire − to be more developed and go back to the Oneness.

📝 Note:

In 2020 and the coming years, we will likely see more negative and chaotic events to come up on the surface due to the shift in the planetary consciousness. However, understand that everything's happening for the benefit of the future. Earth is preparing itself for shifting to a higher dimension (4th density) through cleansing the lower energy that us, humans have created through such as destruction of nature, wars, etc.

What we have been doing to our mother planet is the same as what a cancer cell does to a human body. Earth is not only experiencing environmental pollution from us but also thought pollution from the all living beings on this planet (mostly humans).

She is healing herself like our organic body system tries to heal itself when it's sick. It's necessary for her to sustain us.

This transformational shift is getting clearer and faster every year as you can see what's happening in the world, and probably in your life too.

3. What's Exactly Gonna Happen With This Energy Shift?

This is also the reason WHY many of us (energy sensitive people) feel that time is speeding up, which is actually happening. If you think it’s just a hunch, let me tell you that is 100% real.

This shift is happening with a purpose to make our our consequence (our state of being) clearer and salient. This energy shift will make your energy statement crystal clear. 

What You Focus On, Expands

Meaning, negative people will experience more negativity, while positive people will experience more positivity. Depending on which side we prefer to look at things in life, it (changes) will only get bigger and greater like a snowball effect

If you are smart, I bet you know that this change will also result in "accelerated manifestation" and result in more fixed reality experiences.

It's very important that you understand this, because this conscious energy shift is not only a huge turning point for the Earth, but also for us humanity.

📝 Note:

This means it'll become more difficult for us to change ourselves and experience completely different vibrational realities, which still quite often happens in this time as the world is full of duality yet, but as time goes on it's going to get rare. For instance, if you're living in a negative reality, then it will be difficult for you to experience the things that you can find in only positivity such as love, happiness, and prosperity.

Why is that? Well, this has something to do with "parallel world".

4. We Choose Our Own Parallel Reality

parellel reality

Bubble Universes, Universe, Galaxies, Stars

I'm sure you've already heard the word, "parallel world" at least once unless you lived your whole life in a cave.

Parallel worlds, or parallel universes, or multiverse, or bubble universes − you name it, is all real and that is how the whole universe/dimensions actually work.

People don't like to claim what's uncertain, but yes, you see I'm making a big claim here.

FYI, I've been doing my research on this matter for more than 10 years via various credible sources, so I am confident about it as it perfectly makes sense to me, from my own experiences as well, which is why I stand firmly to my claims that I state here. 

But please don't get me wrong, I'm not forcing you to believe any of this.

📝 Note:

It's just we don't know (yet), since science has not fully reached its full capacity to prove the existence of parallel universe, we are still in the middle of the unknown. However, through Quantum Physics, we are actually close to proving this theory and revealing the existence of those dimensions, even though it may take more time to reveal its full mechanism. I can write another long article just about how this whole thing works, but maybe later. 

But if you are re interested in learning about our current understanding of the parallel worlds, you can watch this video here (19m:58s). It's very educational though.

Where Are You (We) Heading?

Maybe you are still confused, since math and numbers are involved.

To explain our current situation (our world) in a more comprehensive way, let me give you an example using train and platform.

Imagine there are a number of platforms with its rails.

Each rail leads to its own unique destination, and has its different consequence of reality. You are on a train which is heading to its unique destination, that is specific yet unsure.

📝 Note:

Since 2015, our world has begun to separate from one another and each parallel world started constructing its own different consequences in its space and time. Thus why we hear a lot of mandera effect stories these days since time and space are actually being more flexible.

From the overall energy aspect of view of this planet, we essentially had to choose our train that we get on (meaning choosing our direction and start walking on that path) in 2015.

Then, 2016 and 2017 gave us the chance to move to another train (deciding where to go). And in 2018 we (our train) basically left the station and started heading to its destination.

parallel reality

Keep in mind that as time passes, it will be harder for us to greatly change our course, considering our energy is stronger and clearer (more fixed) due to the energy shift in the collective and the planetary.

However, at this time greatly changing our direction (rail) is still possible, but this will not be the case anymore as time goes on (by around 2045-2050 in Earth time).

So it's very important that we start walking on our desired path and become more of who we align with as soon as possible, otherwise, you may end up living a life you didn't prefer at all. 

"The trouble is you think you have time." - Buddha

Click to Tweet

So if you are currently struggling with the negativity and waiting to heal itself, let me tell you one thing: waiting will NOT make it happen. I said it.

Now is the time to take action and start walking on the path of healing before it's too late.

I'm not trying to scare you, but telling you the truth. You should really take damn actions if you really want to change your life, which is the only way to change your life.

📝 Note:

This year is a VERY important year for you to become who you really are (being more aligned with your natural self) so you can walk on the path of what you truly desire.

So what is this transformational shift all about after all?...

It means negative people will experience more and more negativity, while positive people experience more and more positivity. This will be salient and clearer as time passes.

This is why I keep telling you that we don't have much time left, because energy isn't going to stay the same at all. It's constantly changing just like everything in the universe.

5. Drop All Burdens That Are Holding You Back in Life

Before I proceed to my discussion, let me show you this video first, to help you broaden your awareness on the multiverse and how our world works.

If you have watched this video from Bashar, I believe you now understand it doesn't mean that everyone can go to a higher (positive) vibrational density since we all individually live in our own parallel reality.

There is an infinite number of realities (universes) and we are merely experiencing one of the realities that mostly represents our vibration from moment to moment.

I'm sure you are clearly seeing THIS energy shift in your life...

📝 Note:

For example, those people and things who don't simply resonate with you anymore are probably already gone from your life, aren't they? It's because your vibration doesn't match with theirs anymore and they have to get out of your life in various ways.

As Bashar says in the video, eventually, you will no longer interact with them meaning they (who doesn't match with your vibe) will disappear from your life − they find themselves out in a variety of ways.

This happened to me as well, when someone whom I used to strongly believe who would never leave, actually left.

Honestly... I was not surprised at all, as I realized we already had a large gap between our vibration which caused the end of our relationship. 

Things That Doesn't Resonate With You Will Leave

It was obvious to me looking at the end of our relationship, she was literally a completely different person, with a different vibration.

While I was the one who is happier and is trying my best to help her (because she was that important to me), she was the one who kept shutting herself out and rejected me every time I reach out to her. I learned that you can't save someone who doesn't wish to be saved.

Our vibration became too different.

It was impossible for us to keep staying together emotionally and physically, unless one of us greatly changes and adapt to one's vibration. It was very exhausting for each other, so we chose to walk on our separated path.

We did not speak or interact to each other after that, and it’s okay, because she simply doesn't belong to me, to my vibration anymore.

What I learned from this relationship is that holding onto something which is not mine (my energy) will only cause more conflicts and pains, there is no happiness in there.

So my advise for you this year is...

Let go of what doesn't resonate with you anymore and be more of who you really are.

6. Let it Be And Let It Go

🍔 Takeaway:

Things that don't resonate with you are only a burden for you. If it feels very heavy, DROP it because it doesn't belong to you.

Holding Onto Burdens Will Bring More Pains

However, I know how hard it is to let go of someone you once loved or who's been with you for a long time. But you go on, you must accept that everyone changes. Sometimes, a person becomes someone else that they never promised to be, but that's life, and it's okay. 

📝 Note:

There's no way you can't change about them. All you can do is change YOURSELF and accept the way that person/situation is, or simply let go of it.

It's really tiring to live with such burden which requires you an immense amount of effort, dedications, and energy to stick with.

I bet you're already aware of that...

My friend, there's no way that you have to keep taking them with you, you can let it go.

It's not good for you, and for them too.

However, it's your freedom to stick with such burden, or wait and expect the person/situation to change, but most likely you will just find yourself being disappointed since you are *expecting* it to happen.

🍔 Takeaway:

By expecting, you're relying your happiness on the outside. If you want to be happy, don't expect anything for others or things to change as you prefer. Don't try to change them. Don't try so hard to hold onto something that is wanting to go or change. 

A secret to happiness is letting every situation be what it is instead of what you think it should be, and then making the best of it.

Click to Tweet

Let them be whoever they want, they have their lessons to learn in their own experience. So let go of the person and get out of the relationship/friendship if it's being toxic to you... because you deserve more.

🍔 Takeaway:

Please relax and know it's okay, because what's meant to stay will stay and always come back, without any stress and effort. I can almost guarantee you that because this happened to me many times.

It just happens smoothly and naturally by synchronicity, especially when you are in aligned with your true self

7. It's Your Turn to Change the World!

This year, learn how to let go of people and things that don't serve you happiness anymore.

Losing people and things will be happening more frequently since our state of beings are getting clearer every day, so is our reality.

📝 Note:

In around 2045-2050, you will no longer meet people and experience things that are not in your vibration, even it's now possible to co-exist around people who are totally opposite of you in the vibrational level. These things and people are necessary for us to discover ourselves and define who we are, and to know what we want to become, and what kind of reality we REALLY want.

If you never know what's like to be sad, you can't know what's like to be happy. Right?

Like this way, duality is necessary for us to discover more about ourselves and know what we really desire so that we can CHOOSE our direction and reality.

That's why God created us (all the beings) in the first place, to understand itself - All That Is.

I mean if there's truly nothing to compare, you'll never know who you really are.

Once again, I'm telling you, the speed of this energy shift (transformation) is only going to get faster as the time passes, so the best time to act is NOW.

The longer you wait, the more it will become difficult and challenging for you to turn around and experience things that you are not. So it's important to decide who you really are and what you want to be or do... and choose that path believing it will take you to the desired place.

conscious shift

Choosing your path isn't enough.

You have to start taking action - what you've decided, and that's the most important thing!

If you think you are currently walking on the wrong path, then you'd better hurry and turn around to change your path before it's too late. It's not a lot but you still have time.

You are free to choose but you are not free from the consequence of your own choice.

Click to Tweet

No matter what you have done, or where you've ever been before, if you are seriously willing to do whatever it takes for your dream.... and truly trust yourself, then there is nothing that you can't achieve.

Claim Your Desires Fearlessly!

When you finally come up with a decision, affirm your desires without doubt and fear – only confidence, faith, and conviction. There is no greater sovereignty than the power of affirmation.

Your belief, character, attitude, manners, and thoughts influence how you attract things, so if you aim to achieve to life your life in success, happiness, and abundance, claim it without reservations.

It may not happen today, tomorrow, or the next day after, but don’t stop believing, because you will make it happen!

I believe in you. The universe believes in you.

It's your time to change your world and become who you really are.

Get started, right, NOW.

Did it help?

What do you want to achieve the most and how would you like to grow this year? Are you walking on the right path?

Speak your truth and express it fully in the comments below.

Show the Universe you want it more than anything. It's much better than just affirming it in your head. Also if you have any questions or feedback for us, also let me know in the comments!

I would be delighted to enlighten you and help you get started with your transformation.

And if you liked this article and found it helpful, please spread this message by sharing on your social media, or share this with your friends or family.

Despite the current crisis that we are currently going through, I affirm that 2020 and the following years will bring you what our heart and soul desires.

May you continue to receive blessings and live our lives with peace, love, hope, and gratitude. ❤️

This article has been updated on 06/17/20


ascension, collective consciousness, earth, energy, humanity, multiverse, parallel universe, spiritual awakening

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  • Varuna Boppana says:

    Hey Reona, I have a lot of things on my mind on what I want to be… but I’m in no rush to get the things I want. I’m not waiting for the right time or whatever I really want to be but… rather creating a great foundation for myself to build the biggest structure possible!! Anyways, thanks for the info!

    • You are very welcome Varuna! I hope information I’ve shared in this article helped you in any way :)

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  • Hi Novalush, thanks for letting me know the issue!

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    Were you on mobile?

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    [email protected]

    I would figure out the problem and fix it if’s due to my side :)

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      I took a few days to put my inner knowledge into this article… It wasn’t easy but I’m happy that you found the message in this article helpful. May 2016 be your best year :)

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    • Hi Alene, thank you so much. Glad you liked my article.

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  • OMG Reona, I just wanted to say, I really LOVED this article. It absolutely one of the best article I’ve ever read on the internet…

  • Shenna Rieger says:

    I am not any longer sure where you’re getting your info, but good topic. I must spend quite some time studying more or training more.

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    • I’m glad to hear that you found my information valuable. I’ve been studying about these topics for almost a decade since I was little. I have a few very legit truthful source for my wisdom, and I’m pretty much sharing their contents with you.

      Obviously, Bashar is my favorite guy. I’ve learned a lot from his wisdom :)

  • Thank you very much, I was able to find good advice from your blog posts.

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    I am truly thankful for your work, Reona. What an enormous article at here…

    • Thank you for an encouraging :)

      I’ll try to keep up the good work here!

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    • Glad you liked it Ross! Sorry for not updating in a while, but I hope to have more time to craft more contents soon.

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    • Hi Julia, sorry for that my contact page was broken but now have been fixed. You can go to contact page from footer or simply email me [email protected]

  • Crissy Feoli says:

    Once I initially left a comment I seem to have clicked the -Notify me when new comments are added- checkbox and from now on every time a comment is added I receive four emails with the exact same comment.There should be an easy method you may remove me from that service? Thanks a lot!

    • Hi Crissy, sorry for the late reply. You could unsubscribe from that email and you won’t receive it anymore!

  • Thank you, I’ve recently been searching for information about this subject for ages and yours is the greatest I have discovered till now.

    But, what about the conclusion? Are you certain concerning the source?

    • I’m happy to hear that this post has given you some clarification. To sum it up, it’s really important for us to decide who we really want to be or want and start taking action towards that goal!

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    • Thanks for joining my list Nola, sorry for not being able to write new contents in a while. But I’m very active for my email list :)

  • THANK YOU SO MUCH REONA!!!! What an enormous post!! keep it up all the time.

  • How do I stop addictive food habits?

  • sally phoenix says:

    Thank you… Arigatou…

  • Thanks for the article. I found it interesting but I’m not sure I fully understand it yet. I’m curious to learn more about this topic. Since you’ve been studying for 10 years, would you mind sharing where you learned some of this?

    • Hi Rachel, thanks for reading the article! Haha, yes it’s a little complex to understand the matter. I’ve learned from everywhere on the internet, reading articles and books, watching videos, there’s no particular source. But you can learn a lot from ‘the Conversations with God’ by Neal Donald Walsh, in terms of how the Universe and our world work!

  • Reona I loved of every bit you wrote. I am also a lover of the universe, energies and growth! Cheers. Keep writing.

  • Hi Reona!
    Thank you very much for a great article ! I will share it with my Reiki friends 💞 very encouraging!

    • Thank you for the comment and for your support Elena! 🤗

  • Brittnee Thompson says:

    I am very self aware now, very much conscious of my true self and the love I feel and connection with others. I take full responsibility for my life for my happiness. I know to leave toxic people behind, to move towards my full potential in life. My vibration is very high and I will use the insight that I have gained to give back to people my true genuineness of my heart and soul to continue to heal those in life, the struggles I overcame to help others to evolve to freedom and peace and help them find freedom.

    • Amazing Brittnee, sounds like you are on the right track! 👏

  • B. Paul Schmeiser says:

    Excellent article, I will work to invent things that make people’s lives better and hopefully improve humans relationship to planet Earth. ALL people on Earth need to realize that we need the planet to survive, but the planet doesn’t need us. So by doing EVERYTHING possible to save Earth we will be saving ourselves as well. Stop polluting the air, seas, soil and our bodies. Stop hate, spread love, the Earth NEEDS GOOD VIBES, BE ONE. The earth is alive, just like we are. We (people) are the only negative to the Earth’s wellbeing. Look at it like this, if you smoke or eat too much, or whatever makes your body suffer, eventually you have to change your ways to get better or, well, you end up worse. So since people are the ones making the Earth “sick”, it’s people that have to change things to make it better. Ever heard, don’t fool with mother nature? Well, maybe the Earth has had enough of us “fooling” with it. Be positive, love, respect, forgive, share, don’t judge. Don’t litter, start recycling EVERYTHING ALL THE TIME. Eat healthier, less additives and preservatives, exercise, be HAPPY, DON’T WORRY. Love is the word of the day, love yourself, love others, love life, and help spread the word. God bless us, every one.

    • So true Paul! We need more people like you! I’m very optimistic about our future despite the current hardships we are facing as humanity. I see more and more people are waking up every day, becoming more conscious and choosing sustainable ways. ❤️

  • Joyce Straiton says:

    Simplicity, reducing my possessions so I am free to travel and answer all these questions. Still feel like I have a life’s purpose that I have not yet achieved. Sometimes feel like I am walking the right path, sometimes feel like I am distracted and spending my time and energy on the wrong activities and people. Also want to express myself better through my art and Heal the World with it.

    • Don’t worry you’re on the right track Joyce! Because you can tell yourself when you are choosing the wrong energy. Bless you :)

  • Hannah Goodwin says:

    Experiencing the open road and adventuring to wonderful places with a beautiful soul…. Both moving forward , positive growth & happy memories.
    Thank you!

    • Amazing Hannah! Let’s hope this corona things goes away so we can finally have some adventures! 🤗

  • Why do you have to bring politics into everything?
    Grow up!!!!

    • I brought up politics because it’s one of the most important aspects of our life. You see everything’s connected, and we can’t talk about our world without talking about the system that shape us all.

  • Very, very real. This time we are in now has been predicted, particularly since the shift in 2012. (Also, a very real thing.) We as a collective are elevating consciousness.

  • Very insightful article, thank you hope love leads your way and everyone reading this. Do exactly as written above be affirmative about your intentions and let the universe manifest it. God bless

  • I am Steven Gregory Olaska.

    And I attest that I am transitioning from male to female. I want to make music my dream job and life goal to become a famous musician.
    I will not rest until my dream has come to fruition. When it finally does, now in this moment, it will be done in the name of the true god of the universes. Praise his holy name! YAHUSHA!! Holy holy holy, is the lord god almighty. Who was, and is, and shall be again. May I seek the truth always. Love. Love! Love each other! Love each other!! Love each other!!
    I will reconnect with my angels. I will release any negative energy or curses or hexes, and I will let go of all of my negative family members, teachers, and even my own negativity self doubt, and depression. I know I’m my heart is hearts, that I am taking this transition seriously. As seriously as I’ve ever taken anything. I forgive myself. And I forgive everyone else, I have made peace with all my inner demons. And I know for a fact. GOD WILL FORGIVE ME. I’m not afraid. I KNOW GOD LOVES ME. “

  • Elizabeth Arnett says:

    Hi Reona, I have now discovered your wonderful article/blog.

    I am so grateful for having discovered your website and have now read a bit about your life as well.

    Your perspective is refreshing and I can feel the truth of your words.

    Thank you so much for providing this for us to read and be comforted.

  • Ruben Lauthier says:

    Good morning, From Adelaide, South Australia; Quantum Physics takes time: (human must believe and think on this before it can manifest) Yet we must keep in truth, reality in evolution, always in NOW. Progress (no choice) with compassion, with clear message to our fellow Souls in assisting the move out of mental logic, personality to achieve Oneness. Our clear undefined clearer awareness that we are not Bodies nor personalities. We are Soul Consciousness of all that is using a body (with brain, co-creating contrast)that created a personality. See your self as an energy, as a Etheric Body who is the Captain of the vessel. In the analogy of the Train in "a direction" it's described the Vessel being directed. Our direction is governed by Soul Consciousness of all that is, a collective awareness in evolution, over-righting, re-writing separation. Returning to ALL CONSCIOUSNESS after the experience.

  • I enjoyed the enlightenment and am vibrating at a very high level at this moment. I enjoyed a very good meditation period this morning and looked this up become I can feel the shift really strong today.

    Thank you

  • I’m writing this comment since you generously hinted that we should express ourselves in this comment section. I’m taking a chance…

    I have this constant “voice” in my head that tells me I’m no good, that I don’t deserve any bit of happiness. That I should just lie down and die because it doesn’t even matter if I try.
    But I also have this deep feeling in me, that gut feeling that tells me the contrary.
    So I keep fighting between those two wolves : one is trying to end me, the other one is trying to support me.

    I believe in God and all his Greatness. The reason behind that belief is not only “faith” but also because I’ve been saved more than once.

    First time when I was a 5 years old child. I fell from the 2nd floor of an appartment in Paris. My cranium was broken, my arms and shoulder were broken, I had internal bleeding…

    I was hospitalized at the “Hôpital Necker” in Paris, 15ème arrondissement (or “15th district” if you prefer).

    Doctors couldn’t tell my parents if I’d survive this. If I did, they said that I’d probably be handicapped or lose my memory. However, none of that happened.

    When I woke up from coma (which lasted a month), I immediately recognized my mother standing next to me and the first thing I said was “Where is He? Where did He go?”. “Who? Who are you talking about?” my mother asked. “Jesus mom! He was there with me! He told me to wake up!”.

    My father, an atheist, fell down on his knees when he heard those words. The rest of my family was there when I woke up, all with their hands in prayer, thanking the Lord. The doctor who took care of me couldn’t believe his own eyes, said it was truely “a miracle”.

    Now… I know that this is hard to believe, you may discard this story as another lie told by yet another attention seeker on the web. It’s ok, I don’t blame you. It still sounds incredible to my family (and to me) to this day.

    Second time is when I was 18 years old. I was in Turin (Italy) with my mother. We were there only a short time, mostly visiting town. We visited the famous “Chapel of the Holy Shroud”.

    For those who don’t know, the shroud is believed to be the cloth that covered Jesus’s body when they buried him. His face and body can be seen on the shroud, it’s truely amazing.

    Anyway, before going to that church, I was in a very bad mood… So much so that I started blaspheming (insulting God). When my mother heard me talking such evil, she immediately grabbed me by my arm and said “Now you shut up! I’m taking you to the Chapel and you better stay quiet!”.
    She was so mad, and also scared. She later told me I had this evil look in my eyes, she said she didn’t recognize me.

    Anyway, as soon as we entered the Chapel, I had this overwhelming feeling inside of me.
    It’s really hard to describe… I heard a voice deep in my head, talking to me. And then an image…
    It was Him. He said “Why did you abandon me? I’ve been here the whole time… Why did you turn your back?”. He had his arms open, as if wanting to hold me. His voice wasn’t an accusatory one… He wasn’t judging me, it felt like He was sad because I had forsaken him.

    The feeling of guilt, the immense pain that makes you feel like a worthless piece of shit, started to take over me. I started crying uncontrollably. Everyone in that chapel saw me tearing up, in pain, as if something atrocious had happened.

    I fell on my mother’s lap… She was distraught and asked me what was happening.
    While suffocating in my tears, I told her : “I betrayed Him mom! I turned my back on Him! Why? I’m so sorry… I’m so, so sorry…”. Needless to say, my mother was speechless. She held me in her arms the whole time.

    A priest approached us, asking what was happening. He was worried.
    I couldn’t talk, I never cried like this my whole life… So my mother explained to him the best way she could. She pointed her finger to the shroud and said “He talked to my son”.

    The priest was shocked… I took a look at him and it seemed like he didn’t believe it at first.
    He asked me what I felt like… It took all my strength to tell him “I heard Him speaking to me and… He said He’s there with me. He asked why I turned my back on him. He said that He loved me… I feel so ashamed and unworthy”.

    After a bit of thinking, the priest put his hand on my shoulder and told me : “Son, you’re not worthless. If He truely spoke you, that means you’re special to Him. You are blessed and very lucky. This is incredible… This is a miracle!”.

    The priest was really flabbergasted by all this. I cried for what felt like an hour or so. I couldn’t stop.
    The feeling was way too heavy to be over it in minutes.

    After all this, I felt OK again… Back to my normal self. Needless to say that what just had happened to me would remain in my memories my whole life.

    So… Taking into account what happened to me in the past… Why the hell do I still have that darkness in me which claws at my soul? Why am I still uncapable to accomplish what I truely desire?
    Why don’t I believe in myself?…

    Sorry for the extremely long post.

  • I can’t help but feel that this present time feels very familiar. It feels like a time I experienced as a child. I can’t quite put my finger on it but I have an inner knowingness that everything is going to be alright and that everything is as it should be. Take it one day at a time, stay present and aware of how you feel, if it’s off question it, be happy, be mindful, and be grateful and stay in-tuned as well as fine tuned.

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